My Prayer

Dear God,
May I constantly grow. In maturity, in faith in love and in all aspects of my life. I refuse to regress. I refuse to stay on a plateau. My life will not be stunted. My spirituality will always represent you and the person you want me to be. Lord, grow me and shape me. Mould me into the person you see when you look at me. My lfe is yours, freely I give it. Fully I surrender to your will.
Amen.

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Stopping by to say hi.. :)

I figured I should write something for the sake of my “I promise to write more post” I wrote not so long ago. I could give a list of excuses for why I haven’t posted more, but I really don’t have any. The truth is in the last couple of posts I have made. I just haven’t been  there spiritually, and in my journey to getting to that good place I haven’t really had any good or positive things to say. I really don’t want to be the one throwing negativity and darkness online because we have enough of that already, plus I’ve lived that life and I prefer to stay away from “that” person I once was. So I’m getting back to the okay place,  and I pray that God gives me the strength to move, and grow in my spiritual and physical life. Until then, I can’t promise regular, daily posts, once a week is more likely. So again, I’m really sorry for my diminished presence online, but I assure you it’s all going to work for my good. And I’m getting there for sure!!!

Hope everyone is doing okay.

I’m adding this video of a song I really love and blesses me. Jesus Culture are really fantastic, if you haven’t listened to their stuff you should check them out.

 

Oh Lord, You’re beautiful by Jesus Culture

and the verse for today is,

    But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.
(1 Corinthians 15:10 ESV)

The burden of love.

It has been a very emotionally intense couple of days for me. Love comes at a great price and we never really realize how big until something happens and you evaluate how far you would actually go for those you claim you love.

It’s been one of those journeys for me. I had never really understood what the burden of love was before now. Knowing that people you love are on the road to destruction, and you can do nothing but love them and show the affection. It’s very difficult and heart breaking. Now more than ever I understand why it is so important to lift each other up in prayer. Life can drag anyone down, even those we assume have it all under control. It’s a wild ride this life. The more I get into the word, the more drama in my life. I am so grateful to God that He feels I can handle so much, although personally if I were to choose I really wouldn’t let half the things going on happen. But, I am not God and I have no idea what His grand plan is, all I can do is pray and love and repeat.

Remembering those I love in prayer and believing that God is in control. I choose to believe that my coming to God, my faith, is for a purpose. That I may stand in the gap for the ones I love that are oblivious of the path they are on. Now more that ever, I commit to God.  For the sake of those lost and wandering.

Life is short, I pray they find the way before it’s too late. For God has been gracious enough to give us freedom, what we do with it is up to us. All we can do for others is love them, be gracious towards them and pray for them, the rest is up to them(and God).

When you wish it would all end..

Life’s burning issues. Matters of the heart.

They tag and they pull, and strech you to the limit. and just as you think you can take no more, they throw you some more. Till you wish your heart would just give out and save you the pain.

I’ll be honest, I’ve wished it once or twice(or maybe more). Imagined heaven, the peace awaiting me there and just prayed for it all to end.

I completely understand suicide. I understand how someone can get to that place where you’re tired of life, tired of people, tired of always having to try so hard for even the most mundane of things and you  just want it all to end. As much as I have this “my-life-is-not-my-own-so-i-cannot-take-it” mentality. I get it. Sometimes life just sucks! Sometimes, the only thing you can think of is, when will it end?

I’ve had times in my life when I prayed, hours in tears asking God to just take my life. When I couldn’t see any positive outcome no matter where I looked. It’s sad really when I think about those moments, and remember the pain I was in but I am so grateful that God did not answer those prayers because here I am. Today, a joyful me. With only fading memories of those agonizing days. God has a plan for us, the path to it may be rough and sometimes painful but He has a plan and is not about to abandon us on the way to it.

Life sadly, will never be perfect but we have been promised that pain doesn’t last forever. It may be the pits right now, but endure a little bit longer and watch the pain fade to a distant memory. Whatever it is that has you so low. Whatever has you googling ways to kill yourself, or crying all night wondering why you were created in the first place. Whatever it is that has you imagining doing horrible things to someone. It WILL pass. The world will not collapse from under you and your heart won’t explode from the all the pain. Trust me, I know. It will NOT last. Just put your trust in God and He will get you through it. He’s done it for me(even though I never really deserved it) and He will surely do it for you.

Weeping may tarry for the night,

but joy comes with the morning.

Psalm 30:5 esv

All you need to do is ask

I am in awe of Him. I honestly don’t have any idea how to explain how I became the person I am today in comparison to who I was even a week ago. I know a lot of people would say that it’s growing up or any number of explanations, but there’s so much more to the change I constantly go through in my mind and spirit.

I have never been much of a pray for people type of person, I cared about people and all but it didn’t really affect me as much(their lives and all that). This days though, I find myself feeling immensely invested in people even those I don’t know. I feel this need to pray for people, and I can’t even tell you how many times I have found myself crying for people I don’t even know. I am way too connected to my emotional side nowadays, more that I can even try to explain.

I pray for change in me daily. I pray for maturity in my faith, and courage to do what has been set for me in this journey. Despite the fact that I know that God hears and He answers prayers, I still get really amazed when I see change in me. It’s beyond anything and everything. A lot of us, know that God can mould us into who we are meant to be, but we don’t really believe it. He says, ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, if only we would believe that. There’s so much He has in store for us.

The one thing my grandmother(who is my number one inspiration), has always told me is to pray. Prayer is our primary way of communicating with God. So I pray, when I’m walking, or at my desk in the office, I pray. I have prayed for everything imaginable. I can be very silly when it comes to that sometimes but, even the most trivial of desires are desires still. So, I lay it all down. I know that God is sovereign and He is God and He deserves all the honour, glory and respect but, I also knows that God loves me and knows my heart. I can’t pretend not to want because He already knows what’s in my heart, so the one primary thing I have learnt to do is pray that he changes my heart to want what He want for me. To live how He wants me to live. To serve those He want me to serve. So His will for my life can come to pass. As I continue to pray for my life and the lives that are affected by mine(which includes you), I continue to see a change in me. I am still so far from a true reflection of Christ but, I am also very far from the person I used to be.

I am grateful to God for this far He has brought me. I am in awe of what He has done and humbled by all I know He is capable of.

I know God can change hearts, He changed mine. He showed me love like I never knew before. I also know He can do that for anyone else who asks. That’s all you need to do. No fancy language or vocabulary. Just you talking to your Father and creator. Sharing your deepest secrets and desires with your one true love. He is the best friend of all best friends. The one that will never disappoint. I am truly in love with Him. He listens, He leads and He answers prayers so, if you want to know His love just ask.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
(Matthew 7:7-11 ESV)

Catch up..

 

I’m so sorry for my lack of posts lately. I started a new job and it took me a while to readjust myself schedule wise and even when I was online I ended up doing more pinning that anything else. (for shame!)

Anyway, I’m doing alright. Happy and blessed and really inspired for no apparent reason.

I’m really learning to be humble lately, I was used to doing a certain job and now I want to shift career lines so I had to pick something that to be honest I never thought I’d ever doing just so I have a foundation towards my new career. It’s funny how I have prayed for humility for so long then God gives me this particular job. When it was offered to me I was really amused, I knew it was my lesson my test and I came here and chose to give it what I have because I know God has put me here as an answer to my prayer. I am humbled and I love it. I should also add that I really like the job. The people here are so nice and friendly.

I’m grateful to God for my prayer answered and I pray that I learn to listen to Him in everything that happens in my life. He is awesome and He listens and answers prayers. All you have to do is ask.

The verse for today comes from,

Hebrews 4:14-16

14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been Tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

This has really uplifted me and I thought I share it today. A guy was passing by our office and saw me reading my bible and shared it with me yesterday. He made my day.

 

Blessed and immensely loved.

 

I have had a crazy amazing year.

I think back through my life and everything i’ve been through and experienced and I’m So amazed at how great God is. I am so blessed to have been born into this fantastic family. I can’t even begin to explain how much I am grateful to God for my family. My grandmother is the most phenomenal woman I know, she has taught her family love and prayer and always made sure we made time for family. Honestly if it wasn’t for her love, I don’t know where any of us would have been. I believe, now more than ever in the power of prayer, because this one woman held a whole family together through intercession and tears and sleepless nights. And now, I look at us and I’m so amazed. We’ve come a long way and God did indeed answer her prayers and continues to do so.

We are asked to pray for our families and their childrens’ childrens’ children and generations to come. Before, it really didn’t mean that much to me but now, it makes so much sense. My prayers can save my grand children, or their grand children, that’s huge!

We are called to pray, without ceasing without fail, because God hears our prayers and remembering our families, our countries, our leaders, our planet it changes things.

I choose to take up the responsibility, my obligation as a christian to lift up our world in prayer for there is a chance yet for us.

We are deeply loved by God, and our prayers are heard by Him. I am truly humbled to know that.

I thank God for who I am and what I have, and for you. May He bless you with love and peace and joy.