I’m alive!

I  get this recurring illness, nothing serious to most people but when I get it, my whole world stops. Ever since I was little I remember, I would get really sick really often and as I grew older it happened less and less but the pain.. I can’t describe how bad it can get but, it’s hard for me to get around or talk. The one thing I can say is it feels like dying, a long painful agonizing process.

I can’t believe that people go through worse than this, with the more serious life threatening diseases out there. If I were to choose between death and going through this over and over again on the long term, I honestly would rather die. The bible says be grateful in all situations and I am! I don’t want anyone to assume that because i’m talking about my pain means i’m not grateful. I have so many things i’m thankful for, and I also i’m not complaining. I’m just saying life is a crazy ride. And ever since I can remember I have had to take a week off life and wallow in pain for something a lot of people get, but don’t suffer so much with. Only a small fraction of people have actually experienced the horrible side and every time I meet someone and I can’t talk or i’m just in pain. They can’t see how this thing they had a two day ache with can cause anyone so much pain, it sucks.

It’s sucks that we have to suffer. It sucks that I have to go through this crap once a year or whenever i’m stressed out. It sucks that there’s people with more painful sicknesses than this. Life sucks, but i’m alive so I say thanks. Through the tears and the pain, I say thanks because i’d rather be the one in pain than see my little sister going through this. I say thanks because, despite the fact that I may wish to die a couple of time a day when the pain gets really bad, my heart is still beating and I know that I will get better eventually.

Life is hard but whether it’s through death or healing or second chances, the pain stops at some point. Thank God for that.

Please read the entire Psalms 30

zoom in to verse 5 and it says,

For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
(Psalm 30:5 ESV)

**please pray for my healing