It’s not so random.

Everyone of us is governed by circumstances, we all have something weighing us down. No matter how good someone’s life may appear to be.

Today, I just want to remind you that, it’s not about what you think or what you see in others. Show care and concern no matter what. The person you meet today with the brightest smile, may be on their way to a suicide or planning to commit some other horrible self or public act. All because they feel no one cares. Love all, give a smile to that random stranger, say hi. (and anyway, how can you identify a criminal later, if you don’t even glance at the person seated next to you on the bus or wherever?). It doesn’t take much to show kindness but, it makes a really big difference. Seriously, pass that love around, someone out there needs it more than you can imagine.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
(Colossians 3:12 ESV)

Random acts of kindness, should not be random. It should be intentional and continuous, never stopping. Love never stops being love, it will never cease to exist or run out. So we have no excuse for not spreading it around generously.

“He who withholds kindness from a friend
forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
(Job 6:14 ESV)

I’ll love you.. from a far.

People are difficult right? I’ve thought that everyday of my life and i’m sure you have too.

Human beings are some kind of complicated. I know I am. I get moody, and sometimes I just don’t feel like anything or anyone.

Thing with me is, I have been blessed with a permanent smile on my face. I find laughter in everything(well almost), so I can easily mask my anger with laughter or a smile. Some people are just foul when they are in a bad mood.

Anyway, I’m really not here to talk about moods today, I’m talking about friendships and relationships in general. People can be a tad difficult to understand when it comes to relating with them. We can’t really be friends with everyone, but how do you know if you truelly are your friends friends? We live in a world where nothing is really ever clear. Where people are rarely ever genuine and some people are yet to grasp that. So you give one hundred percent to someone and they give you nothing and you call them a friend? That makes no sense at all. Being a christians means we have to love EVERYONE, it doesn’t mean you should let yourself be treated like a door mat. Used as the said “friends” feel like. It’s okay to care for people, I really care for people but honestly if a relationship only brings you down then is it really worth it?

Proverbs 27:6
Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

You cannot really grow as a person, when your thoughts are always on hurt and pain caused by people. You cannot grow when the people you surround yourself with are stuck in a childish place.We all have genuine people, people that will be honest, people who help you improve, and lead you towards your goals. Even that one person that we can trust, and if not, we have prayer. Honestly, I believe that when it comes to those we interact closely with it’s better to be alone or with few people you trust than be among many and you can trust none of them.

I know a lot of people but I choose to love a lot of people from a far. This means, I will be there for them when they are in need but I don’t rely on them or have any expectation of them for my anything. In time, we all grow and figure out which friends fall where, but if you haven’t yet, you need to really pray and meditate on it lest they make you slip up or lose the way towards your dreams or destiny.

Life is too precious to waste on making relationships that were not meant to be close knit appear to be so. If you love all unconditionally and live a life focused on your purpose and God will not let you fall on the way side. He is after all our true love and friend.

Here are a few verses on friendship and what you can look for in your relationships.

Proverbs 18:24
There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 13:20

He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.

Galatians 6:2

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ

Proverbs 27:9-10

Oil and perfume make the heart glad,

and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend,
and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity.
Better is a neighbor who is near
than a brother who is far away.

Called to L-O-V-E.

I can’t stop singing to God even when i’m sinning against Him. I feel so flawed so dirty so unworthy. But I have no where else to turn so I bow my head in shame and cry..

I have this habit of retracting from society and hiding away by myself when things start slipping from me. It’s a bad habit. I know I should always be with people, especially in those low moments,  but I find myself seeking solitude and although sometimes I pick myself up immediately. Other times I find myself falling even lower and it’s sad. It’s sad that I feel safe alone, sad that with all the experiences and things I’ve witnessed I find it hard to be completely be honest with people. I know no one is perfect and I have never expected anyone to be, and I have also tried to share my imperfections, mostly because of this deep fear of becoming a hypocrite.

I don’t want to appear to be something i’m out. yet i’m not completely comfortable exposing all my flaws and short comings. See I believe Jesus died for my sins, I believe He died that I may have life and live without shame. But looking at people and how they react to things, seeing how fellow Christians act towards those who have fallen short in one way or the other makes it really difficult for me to come out and say, “hey, see I did that too. I messed up, can you walk with me through this”.

Maybe i’m the problem, maybe I have trust issues..

Wait, I can’t be the only problem. Despite the fact that I may not be so okay with full disclosure because of my own issues and things in my life, I know for a fact that there is a problem out there as well. I know that there is judgement, I know there is condemnation and chastising in some places among certain Christian communities and I don’t understand why.

I want to give myself fully to God. Live my live fully for Him. Stay pure and be a positive impact for Him in every place I go, but I fail. I mess up A LOT  and I just want to be okay with crying to someone when I’m feeling that shame when I’ve done something stupid and not have to worry about what happens to me next. Stories of people being kicked out of churches for being pregnant, or being treated strange by fellow members of the church for whatever thing they did. Honestly! By the time someone is coming to you to confess, they already know they did wrong the guilt tripping and hoops, just crazy! My sins were forgiven, I am a new creation in Christ. Why do you choose to punish me when the punishment was already taken care of?

It’s one thing to correct and a whole other thing to condemn. We all have sinned, we still sin but God because of His amazing grace and mercy gave His son for us. Yet we choose to put each other through that again? It makes no sense to me.

I am a big advocate of love. I truly believe love changes things. I believe showing love and grace is the only way to go. None of us deserve anything yet we were shown mercy and given life. It shouldn’t be such a task to do the same for others.

We need to put Christ back on top. He has to come first. That’s the only way we’ll remember to show love and mercy.

We need God. For our relationships and interactions to be genuine and loving.

God has to come first. So that before you judge someone you empathize and try to see through their eyes.

So that we may be able to guide each other in love and teach each other.

It breaks my heart to imagine the many who suffer through secret sin because they fear they’ll lose friends(in church). Or those who live in shame because they have no one to tell them they have nothing to be ashamed of, that it was all taken care of at the cross. Christ has to be greater in us. Live like He lived, and love like He loved.

We are called to love. Let us love.

We cannot claim to serve a God who is love and have no love in us.

Love is so much more that words, it’s manifested in our everyday life and interactions. In our relationships.

Blessed and immensely loved.


I have had a crazy amazing year.

I think back through my life and everything i’ve been through and experienced and I’m So amazed at how great God is. I am so blessed to have been born into this fantastic family. I can’t even begin to explain how much I am grateful to God for my family. My grandmother is the most phenomenal woman I know, she has taught her family love and prayer and always made sure we made time for family. Honestly if it wasn’t for her love, I don’t know where any of us would have been. I believe, now more than ever in the power of prayer, because this one woman held a whole family together through intercession and tears and sleepless nights. And now, I look at us and I’m so amazed. We’ve come a long way and God did indeed answer her prayers and continues to do so.

We are asked to pray for our families and their childrens’ childrens’ children and generations to come. Before, it really didn’t mean that much to me but now, it makes so much sense. My prayers can save my grand children, or their grand children, that’s huge!

We are called to pray, without ceasing without fail, because God hears our prayers and remembering our families, our countries, our leaders, our planet it changes things.

I choose to take up the responsibility, my obligation as a christian to lift up our world in prayer for there is a chance yet for us.

We are deeply loved by God, and our prayers are heard by Him. I am truly humbled to know that.

I thank God for who I am and what I have, and for you. May He bless you with love and peace and joy.



Kim Kardashian.

English: Kim Kardashian Get David Jones Tills ...

Image via Wikipedia

I was on twitter yesterday and apparently it was bash on Kim Kardashian day on my timeline. I don’t really follow her life or her shows or anything, but her being such a high profile celebrity, I know the basics. well at-least what I’ve seen on my timeline and on Facebook. Personally I am very disgusted by how easily people can kick others when they’re down. Honestly, when did celebrity turn into a cloak of invincibility? I can’t imagine what it feels like to mess up and know that millions of people know what I did and will judge me for it for the rest of my life. I’m a regular person and I stress out to the point of depression sometimes for my unknown sin blow it up times a million and I would probably need an asylum or something. Life is hard for everyone, and no one needs a constant reminder of their mistakes. I feel really bad for famous people. It’s a difficult lifestyle to choose to live.

I watched some show that was trying to explain celebrity and the spiraling that happens in most celebs lives at one point or the other. The report claimed that celebrities have some form of narcissistic syndrome or something. Basically, they were trying to put it all on the celebrity and their choices. I get that we all make our choices and all of that, but the public have to take some responsibility for the madness. If it wasn’t for the public’s insane need to know every little detail about these peoples lives, and the love for tragedy, things would not be this bad. Fame is like a drug, once you get that high, you want it more and more. If the only time you get the attention is when you do something crazy, then why would you do anything but that? After all your career depends on it. We are responsible for ourselves, but we are also responsible for each other.

Kim Kardashian is trying to clean herself up, pick up the pieces and people throw her past in her face? Honestly?!  We drive people to the edge then wonder how they got there. It’s really sad, how hard it is to encourage others and I’m tired of seeing all the celebrity tragedies! A little compassion goes a long way. Rehab can only do so much.

I was happy to see a few positive tweets to her though, but not enough. We need to change how we do things.Show some compassion, give a little grace.


If tears could really wash out our souls. I’m sure you’ve had those moments when you thought that.

What if, you could cry all the pain out, wash all that inner crud, shame and all that stuff out? Wouldn’t it be wonderful?? I know for a fact I wouldn’t mind it.

Those times when not even words can describe what you feel.

Times when you wish it could all just stop for a second.

Looking at my life now, it’s amusing how crazy things have gone. Life is funny(not haha), it’s funny though, how it’s pulls you in only to let you go. Crazy little thing it is.

When you feel like you are at the bottom and the earth cracks and you fall lower, spiraling. Seems endless, wishing you’d crash to your death just so the agony ends. Life catches you, just for little while, just so you forget then it let’s you go..

Free fall!

It’s maddening how we walk around, interacting with people without a clue what is going on in their heads.

A smile is easy to fake. An “i’m doing okay” is an easy lie.

We all have issues true, but some have it worse. Some are completely torn on the inside.

If tears could clean out our souls.

If tears could take the pain away.

But they don’t, and all we have is seconds, minutes, hours of agony and pain to endure.

Why should we survive it, when we have each other?

My tears don’t help much.

A sincere, “how have you been” just might.

Love, and honest concern and care for me from you.

That’s all anyone asks for.

Are you doing your parts?

Before tears run out and insanity takes over.

Before tears turn to blood.

Before pain turns to death.

I’m open to knowing you more, open to being a friend.

After all what else would I be living for if not to bring comfort to other.

Even in the slightest.

My purpose is to love, because I am loved.

Where did grace go?

I’ve been reading blogs and just observing the world around me and it honestly is driving me nuts. See i’m the type of person that really feels stuff, empathy on steroids type of person. I love God and I take His word very seriously,(every word).

See my problem is, everything seems to be going down hill. I don’t get it at all. I get really mad when I go on websites and read harsh criticism from Christians to other Christians. What happened to loving our neighbours? What happened to being our brothers keepers? What happened to grace?

It’s really exhausting reading a blog by a christian who’s harshly breaking a fellow christian down for whatever sin. Even more painful is cursing someone out when they have openly confessed and repented for said the sin. The bible clearly says to forgive. So when exactly did it become okay to be self righteous and act like we don’t sin? When did we take God’s place in terms of judging others? We make it seem normal to make people jump through hoops to earn forgiveness when forgiveness is freely given by God to anyone who repents.

It really breaks my heart that we find it so hard to be gracious. there’s a very big difference between correcting someone and making them feel worthless. It’s very easy to miss the mark (clearly) and we need to be cautious when going to someone who has wronged us, the church or whatever else the sin is. Be careful not to make ourselves gods, for there can only be one God and He is not us. 

The bible says in Matthew 18:15-17 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

It’s important to give people a chance, an opportunity to change. Correct each other with love and not with the intention of embarrassing each other or making ourselves look purer or better. None of is good, if it wasn’t for Jesus dying we would all have perished. Yet we seem to forget and put our own selfish pride and needs before building each other. We are the church, the body of Christ. If we break each other in the end we actually are breaking ourselves. Very stupid if you ask me, like punching yourself in the face because your nose snorted on someone. Where does that get you? Everything works together. So either build or break.(i figure a dumb thing, deserves a dumb example)

Romans 14:1-12

1 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

 5 One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. 6 Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. 8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

 10 You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written:

   “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, 
‘every knee will bow before me; 
   every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

 12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

In the end, we are all accountable to God. His free grace is not to be earned. Neither is His love.

Single, Yes. Loving it? Not so much.

We all have those days/nights when you just want someone. Some companionship, tonight is one of those for me. I was going to go a whole different route with tonights post but I got completely overwhelmed by this “loneliness” cloud hovering over me.Yep, I’m single, like a baobab tree in the middle of the desert, single, very single. That little factor seems more apparent to me tonight more than any other night. *sigh* I should probably also add the fact that I’ve been single for about two year now.. haha! No, there’s nothing wrong with me.

I am a very choosy human. Yeah, figure that’s a good place to start.

I’m choosy, very choosy in fact about everything! From the food I eat, to the table I sit at, at the restaurant, to just about anything (watches as any man who would have been interested in me runs away). So obviously same goes for friendships and the men in my life.

We’re always told not to judge a potential boyfriend/girlfriend by our past experiences but honestly that’s not only impossible but stupid. No, I will not assume you’ll be violent or unfaithful but I will also not walk blindly into anything without thinking it out. I’m one of those who believe that love is intended before it’s spontaneous. I don’t think a single person can actually say they met someone and fell madly in-love the moment they saw them and got married and have been married for 60years. If those exist then they must be very few and very blessed with such a wonderful anomaly.The rest continue on to discover what they saw was just a facade or that the persons personality is completely opposite what they were looking for.

Me, I choose to use logic. I don’t exactly have a list of what a man should have I just have a list of what he shouldn’t. Deal breakers for me; smoking is a NO for me, I don’t smoke (I’ve had a lot of friends who smoke, and the temptation for a toke is too high), I have a lot of alcoholics dead beats  in my family so you can guess what my opinion on drinking is. I drank in college and that was that – a stupid phase- I’m not saying everyone that drinks is irresponsible, I’ve just been exposed to too many of that type and I’m done with that. and, of course the man has to love and respect his momma and sisters and protect them always. Finally and most important with God as his foundation  I can’t go wrong, so he has to love God with all he’s got.

With all my wonderful reasoning and all my knowledge, at times like this I just want anything. I won’t go out looking or anything like that but if it fell through my roof well.. Haha!  Thankfully men do not fall through roofs, so all I have to worry about is lonely nights wishing I had what I don’t. For now till the day God sends my chosen spouse, I shall be single and lonely, but patiently waiting.