Idol worship.

I have posted about this before, but I saw this video on youtube and I was blown away.

Who do you worship? And what is worship anyway? We get so into things and people and we have no time for God. We let ourselves get derailed all in the name of entertainment. If you actually were to step back and look at your life, what would you find on top of your list of priorities? Who or what rules your life? Is it God or is it some earthly thing? We were created to worship Him but we build ourselves idols in the name of money, relationships, e.t.c, and God is left with no where to dwell.

Such a shame the life we have chosen with the freedom given to us by God.

I could say so much but this video says it all. Please watch this and tell me how it makes you feel. Personally, I’m awestruck!

I’m happy for you….. but..

I’ve had a pretty normal day. Well as normal as a day at work can be, and I was in a pretty chill mood until I saw something online.

I was checking out one of my networks pages and just like that my mood changed. I started wondering what I have been doing with my life. Why I wasted so much time with the silly things when I could have done something meaningful with my time and random stuff like that. Now that I think about it, it’s funny. But a few minutes ago I was on the verge of spontaneously combusting from all the thoughts that were running through my mind.

I want all this stuff but really I don’t want them, I just think they look good from across the fence. Doesn’t everything? Honestly, being a human being is a hilarious ride when you really think about it because, I’m really happy for this girl. Her life is working out really fabulously for her and she is such a wonderful role model when it comes to a life dedicated to Christ. I don’t really want her life, or her career or any of that it’s just that every time I end up on her page I feel like a complete under achiever.

Why do we do that? Why do we let other peoples lives be a yard stick for our own? Why do we compare when we know no two of us are really alike? That we are build from completely different circumstances and have different goal and destinies planned ahead for us by God?

I really don’t get it at all, most confusing thing about is that it happens every single time I interact with her. She really inspires me and I love her and i’m very happy for her but for those two minutes after I check her websites or speak to her or whatever, I feel absolutely terrible about myself.

It’s ridiculously hilarious but I do that. I know I’m not alone and I know if you’re like me you feel absolutely horrible about it. But I’ve come to find a way to deal with it so it doesn’t last long or go negative.

1. Pray about it. Thank God for what you have and ask Him to bless whoever it is you are envious or beating yourself up about. Also ask that He lead you and direct you that you may achieve His purpose and will for your life.

2. Tell the person how proud you are of the things you admire about them. Don’t turn into an internal thing you battle with. Shout it out because as much as the person may be doing so well they may not feel like they are.

3. Focus on a project or whatever it is you feel you have neglected. Don’t waste all that energy on negative thoughts of times past, use it positively.

4. Pray.. 🙂 yes again!

This stuff  happen to the best of us, the problem comes in when you get negative and wish it for yourself or think negative thought about someone because of what they have or far they’ve gone in their lives. Just be happy for them, genuinely happy for them and it will pass.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
(1 Corinthians 13:4 ESV)

Midweek inspiration

This weeks inspiration will be a little bit different. I decided instead of sharing a sermon, I share a book I recently(last night) started reading that has really inspired me. Rid of my disgrace by Justin s. Holcomb and Lindsey A. Holcomb, I’m not sure how many of you have read it, if you haven’t I would really recommend it. It’s a really well researched moving book about sexual assault victims.

It has really opened my eyes, and helped me understand so much about the emotions and basically the life of an assaulted person. We take a lot for granted and most of the time we don’t even know how to react to someone in their state of trauma. This book, puts you in their shoes, and let’s you see and feel what they feel and will definitely improve how we reach out to them and hasten their healing.

You can get the book here.

Our Purpose

They say tests and trials come to make us stronger. That we should pray for them, that if you are having an easy life then you should know there’s a problem. Well, my life must be perfect really because stuff has been so crazy! It’s like a constant beat down.

Right now, it’s actually quite hilarious how today has gone down so far. My work mate, really messed me up in ways I can’t really get into at the moment but I was so angry. Honestly, I can’t even describe how mad I was. Thinking that I now have to go through some really crazy process to undo a mess I have been put in by someone simply because he was too proud and stubborn to listen to the instructions I had given him. But then I looked at his face and he was beating himself so much about the situation he put me in. I ended up feeling sorry for the guy. See I had forgiven him but there’s this thing we do(most of us at least), letting a guy stew in guilt for a while before you act normal around them again. I know it’s not just me who does that. Anyway, I wasn’t really going to do that but I had to collect myself before I did or said something stupid(this time. hehe). I let go. Because of the guilt on his face, I just let it go. I can hold a grudge, I’m ashamed to admit it but, when I get mad I am capable of staying mad for a long time. So it’s quite fascinating that I was okay so quickly. Not really a surprise though because,

I prayed.

Right when I found out, I prayed. That is probably why my empathy was so heightened. Why I can laugh in-spite of the up hill task I have ahead of me. Nothing is impossible, not for God it’s not.

It’s been really wild since last week. My fears have been tested, my humility has been tested, my patience, my faithfulness and commitment to God. I may have not come out perfect but, I am still trying.

I know I am not alone, and I know I cannot fail.

So I keep pushing, to know Him and have Him shine through in all I do.

I have no greater purpose in life than that.

Verse for today:

Romans 8:7-9(MSG)

7 Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing.8 And God isn’t pleased at being ignored.

9 But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won’t know what we’re talking about

It’s not about me.

It’s not about me.

It’s not about me!

It’s not about me!

I forget.

I forgot.

I let myself get caught up again. In all the drama and the nonesense of the world.

I am human. Stupidly human. Completely imperfect.

Yet in my imperfection is perfection, His perfection.

I lost sight of it, for a little while.

I forgot.

But like He does always, He reminded me.

It’s not about me!

It’s not about me..

It really is NOT about me.

I love God so much, and I choose the world sometimes.

But He loves me so much more, so He leads me back to Him.

It is so unbelievable how much mercy and grace He has for me.

He takes me in my lowest. He finds me in the darkness, when no one even knows i’m lost.

He knows me and shows me love.

I am so humbled. In awe of His love.

So tonight, for the umpteenth time I am reminded that it’s about God.

My life and everything is about His will.

So my prayer, the one I seem to have forgotten to pray for a while.

“Lord, may your will be done in my life. Amen”

Tests, and gratitude.

Life sometimes feels like a tornado sweeping through. A beautiful mess.

I’m looking for something positive to say, this week has been quite a trip. Honestly, I don’t even know what to say. If it wasn’t for my life, my health and family and all that good stuff I would have just gone insane. I’m not so sure about my liking of surprises anymore. I am officially one of those who like to know what’s about to happen before it happens. A let’s plan it out first type. Quite strange considering I have been pretty random in my previous life.. ha!

I don’t know what’s going on, but I really hope I figure it out. Or that it’s just a random week and next week will be normal again.

Anyway, I’m trying to keep it positive. Believe that there is a lesson in each of those things that have happened. It’s not easy especially when the stuff is happening so frequently but I still have so much be happy for. So much to thank God for. So i  pray that I have the wisdom to see the lessons in every situation and I pray the same for you.

It can get pretty wild when it seems you have absolutely no control of your own life, but when all is said and done we need to remember that God does have the control and He would never do anything to hurt us. So be encouraged, as I am in knowing that He is thinking of us.

 

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

Called to L-O-V-E.

I can’t stop singing to God even when i’m sinning against Him. I feel so flawed so dirty so unworthy. But I have no where else to turn so I bow my head in shame and cry..

I have this habit of retracting from society and hiding away by myself when things start slipping from me. It’s a bad habit. I know I should always be with people, especially in those low moments,  but I find myself seeking solitude and although sometimes I pick myself up immediately. Other times I find myself falling even lower and it’s sad. It’s sad that I feel safe alone, sad that with all the experiences and things I’ve witnessed I find it hard to be completely be honest with people. I know no one is perfect and I have never expected anyone to be, and I have also tried to share my imperfections, mostly because of this deep fear of becoming a hypocrite.

I don’t want to appear to be something i’m out. yet i’m not completely comfortable exposing all my flaws and short comings. See I believe Jesus died for my sins, I believe He died that I may have life and live without shame. But looking at people and how they react to things, seeing how fellow Christians act towards those who have fallen short in one way or the other makes it really difficult for me to come out and say, “hey, see I did that too. I messed up, can you walk with me through this”.

Maybe i’m the problem, maybe I have trust issues..

Wait, I can’t be the only problem. Despite the fact that I may not be so okay with full disclosure because of my own issues and things in my life, I know for a fact that there is a problem out there as well. I know that there is judgement, I know there is condemnation and chastising in some places among certain Christian communities and I don’t understand why.

I want to give myself fully to God. Live my live fully for Him. Stay pure and be a positive impact for Him in every place I go, but I fail. I mess up A LOT  and I just want to be okay with crying to someone when I’m feeling that shame when I’ve done something stupid and not have to worry about what happens to me next. Stories of people being kicked out of churches for being pregnant, or being treated strange by fellow members of the church for whatever thing they did. Honestly! By the time someone is coming to you to confess, they already know they did wrong the guilt tripping and hoops, just crazy! My sins were forgiven, I am a new creation in Christ. Why do you choose to punish me when the punishment was already taken care of?

It’s one thing to correct and a whole other thing to condemn. We all have sinned, we still sin but God because of His amazing grace and mercy gave His son for us. Yet we choose to put each other through that again? It makes no sense to me.

I am a big advocate of love. I truly believe love changes things. I believe showing love and grace is the only way to go. None of us deserve anything yet we were shown mercy and given life. It shouldn’t be such a task to do the same for others.

We need to put Christ back on top. He has to come first. That’s the only way we’ll remember to show love and mercy.

We need God. For our relationships and interactions to be genuine and loving.

God has to come first. So that before you judge someone you empathize and try to see through their eyes.

So that we may be able to guide each other in love and teach each other.

It breaks my heart to imagine the many who suffer through secret sin because they fear they’ll lose friends(in church). Or those who live in shame because they have no one to tell them they have nothing to be ashamed of, that it was all taken care of at the cross. Christ has to be greater in us. Live like He lived, and love like He loved.

We are called to love. Let us love.

We cannot claim to serve a God who is love and have no love in us.

Love is so much more that words, it’s manifested in our everyday life and interactions. In our relationships.

Healed!

It’s been such a crazy week/two not even sure but I know it was painful and I am so grateful  to be here healthy and strong and able to read all the blogs! Woohoo! I am indeed joyous! I can talk, I can sing, I can shout, I can eat, I can walk about! I’ve got a reason to dance and shout!

 

Psalms 98

1 Sing to the Lord a new song,
for he has done marvelous things;
his right hand and his holy arm
have worked salvation for him.

2 The Lord has made his salvation known
and revealed his righteousness to the nations.

3 He has remembered his love
and his faithfulness to Israel;
all the ends of the earth have seen
the salvation of our God.

4 Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth,
burst into jubilant song with music;

5 make music to the Lord with the harp,
with the harp and the sound of singing,

6 with trumpets and the blast of the ram’s horn—
shout for joy before the Lord, the King.

7 Let the sea resound, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it.

8 Let the rivers clap their hands,
let the mountains sing together for joy;

 

What’s your reason to have joy today?

I’m alive!

I  get this recurring illness, nothing serious to most people but when I get it, my whole world stops. Ever since I was little I remember, I would get really sick really often and as I grew older it happened less and less but the pain.. I can’t describe how bad it can get but, it’s hard for me to get around or talk. The one thing I can say is it feels like dying, a long painful agonizing process.

I can’t believe that people go through worse than this, with the more serious life threatening diseases out there. If I were to choose between death and going through this over and over again on the long term, I honestly would rather die. The bible says be grateful in all situations and I am! I don’t want anyone to assume that because i’m talking about my pain means i’m not grateful. I have so many things i’m thankful for, and I also i’m not complaining. I’m just saying life is a crazy ride. And ever since I can remember I have had to take a week off life and wallow in pain for something a lot of people get, but don’t suffer so much with. Only a small fraction of people have actually experienced the horrible side and every time I meet someone and I can’t talk or i’m just in pain. They can’t see how this thing they had a two day ache with can cause anyone so much pain, it sucks.

It’s sucks that we have to suffer. It sucks that I have to go through this crap once a year or whenever i’m stressed out. It sucks that there’s people with more painful sicknesses than this. Life sucks, but i’m alive so I say thanks. Through the tears and the pain, I say thanks because i’d rather be the one in pain than see my little sister going through this. I say thanks because, despite the fact that I may wish to die a couple of time a day when the pain gets really bad, my heart is still beating and I know that I will get better eventually.

Life is hard but whether it’s through death or healing or second chances, the pain stops at some point. Thank God for that.

Please read the entire Psalms 30

zoom in to verse 5 and it says,

For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
(Psalm 30:5 ESV)

**please pray for my healing