Midweek confessions

What’s the one thing that you have learned this year?

I’ve been trying to be open minded and humble enough to try new things and it’s been quite a challenge. Every time I think I got the humility thing down, something happens and my pride shows itself, loud and proud. Being humble is hard. I am irked by a lot of things too nowadays, but the one one thing I’m disappointed about is my reactions to situations after my pride reveals itself. My lack of patience and compassion(in some cases) has been really shocking to me. It’s hard being nice. Just when I thought I had it all together, when I thought I was on that good path,  I let it all just fall apart for the sake of my pride.

The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil.
Pride and arrogance and the way of evil
and perverted speech I hate.
(Proverbs 8:13 ESV)

I’ve prayed about humility for a long time, and I will admit I’ve made progress but I find myself in situations that really make me wonder who on earth I think I am. Pride, is a sign of self importance. A form of selfishness, and conceitedness. So here I am, thinking that I deserve more because of bluh, bluh, bluh, when in reality I deserve absolutely nothing. Being impatient towards someone when they mess up, when I mess up all the time. It’s insane, it makes me really sad that I still have to struggle with that today, but I have learnt that I can either chose to be impatient and curse under my breath or, I can count to 10 and not react until my head is on straight. It’s not easy, but I am trying. Praying for humilty in all I do, it’s hard like I said but I know eventually I will overcome.

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.

(1 John 2:16 ESV)

My  lesson is, I am still very far from where I should be. I need my heart to be pure, and sincere. To love and give grace without questioning or seeking validation. I want to be joyful in my heart, I want be like Christ from the inside out. I am learning to be humble each day, in each moment because that’s the only way I learn. That’s the only way I grow.

 

And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.
(Mark 7:20-22 ESV)

What’s your lesson for the year? What have you been struggling with?

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7 thoughts on “Midweek confessions

  1. You have done a beauty of a post!

    Losing self is critical, to go to Heaven, so I’m definitely hooking onto this blog! 🙂

    Well in my (ongoing) battle to conquer pride and impatience, I found two weapons have helped me; fasting, when on a 6am-6pm fast I REALLY don’t have the energy to get angry at you!

    And one on One worship; its just such a spiritual experience and because the Bible tells us that God actually “seeks out” true worshipers John 4:23. Coming out of the presence of God; I ALWAYS step up a notch towards Him! I’m cleansed by His Grace from a lot of evil in my soul!

    My present battles are doubt and fear, and God will do it. Amen!

      • I think, the fast just supplants the evil tendencies of the heart and separates you into Christ, when you add prayer and praise. Thats why Jesus told His disciples that some only go out through fasting.

        Your life can never remain the same after a 3-dayER.

  2. Dear, i really appreciate your transparency on the issue of pride. Everyone goes through it, which makes me too no exception.

    If it’s ok with you, let me share with you what God has taught me through experiences and conversations.

    All which you shared are solid state realities which the Scripture tears open and explains it and shows it.

    One thing God has been speaking into my life about pride is this “For a Christian humility is not a posture, but a response to the revelation of knowing who God is “. In the presence of God we are ‘humbled’ by the Power, Glory, Majesty, Holiness, Might, and Splendor screaming out of HIM.

    God doesn’t give instructions to live a good life. God has given a Love letter to us, to which we are to respond. When we make that decision to respond to God and His love, it’s just puts everything else in place..

    Be blessed, and be a blessing…

    • “humility is not a posture, but a response to the revelation of knowing who God is” that’s really good. I guess, the thing that really bothers me is this fear of being a hypocrite or not genuine. Maybe I over think it and end up losing sight of God all together.

      • Dear Tracy,
        To be honest with you, yesterday i was thinking about the word “hypocrite”. You may look any pastor or preacher or anyone who speaks for GOD and of GOD, they WILL fall short of the standard of GOD of whom they are proclaiming. When i look at things that are write and think, and then look back into my life, i end up saying “Of sinners I’m the worst”.

        In short everyone end-up being hypocrite, not matter what degree. But GOD’s to you is this

        “Darling…”

        He wants that relationship with you out of Love and of Grace.. It’s not about what you end up doing, it’s about with whom you are.

        “humility is not a posture, but a response to the revelation of knowing who God is”. the more you draw closer to God, the deeper will you look into your own life and see even the minute details of your life and cross-check with GOD’s standards.

        Isaiah was one of the most ‘used’ prophet by GOD, but listen to what he has written:

        “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” Isaiah 6:5.

        Because when he saw the Lord, all his sins and impurities just projected and was illuminated in HIS Holiness in HIS Presence. That is the experience everyone will have when we draw closer to GOD.

        So FEAR NOT.

        The more we realize and see our weakness, the more we know that

        THE LORD IS NEAR.

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