I can’t really explain it by my Christian life has always been quite easy. I prayed for change and God gave it to me. My flaws my personal battles were all so much simpler.
Then this year begun, 2012, and everything changed, now it all feels so difficult. I seem to keep falling, constantly seeking forgiveness for things I haven’t done in years. My past sins seem to be chasing me down.
It really scared me, watching this downward spiral I seemed to be on so I took a step back and looked at my life how I’ve been living it for the past month.
Its really interesting and frightening to see how easily it is to fall away from faith. I’m not saying I have, and I’m really grateful to God for giving me the ability to see my life and to be honest with myself about right and wrong because without that I would be so far gone. Anyway, I’m just saying that within a month I have been able to go so many steps back from my salvation just because of certain lifestyle choices that society deems normal and okay. Maybe it was the holidays and the whole family being around or maybe I was just looking for an excuse but I ended up listening to music I don’t listen to anymore, watching shows I don’t watch and soon enough my mind went straight to things I haven’t thought in a while. And it was suddenly okay for those few minutes to think those things, do those things.
Media has a lot of power and if we don’t control it it controls us. When I let things in my head, through my favorite shows, through music, through my interactions (physical or otherwise), they become my thoughts. The thoughts grow and consume me and before I know it things that I haven’t struggled with become a problem. Things that never tempted me before become addictions. It’s really crazy how it works but the fact is, it does. You watch a lot of sensual material, you won’t be thinking about vegetables all day – trust me. What we let in becomes us and it’s so important to watch out. Watch what you let yourself see, watch what you let yourself hear, they become your thoughts and your thoughts consume your heart.
Don’t tempt yourself.
James 1:13-15 NIV
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.